Truth, be told.

The past few weeks have been nothing short of a whirlwind. So I think I'll just turn what could be a novel of thoughts into a few simple truths I've learned and been reminded of...

• When you forget your wallet and are almost out of gas, some nice gas station attendant might just give you free gas. Swallow that pride and just ask. 
• Backing up your computer is more important than you think...you never know when it will decide to rebel and go on strike with that little pinwheel icon of death, causing you to nearly take up the fetal position in a corner of the office, frozen with fear of losing years' worth of precious files.
• But with computer problems comes a sweet opportunity to see those in your community love you in unique and totally unearned ways...like teaching you how to take your hard drive out of your Mac and transferring files from it yourself (nerd alert).
• No matter what time I go to bed, it's impossible to sleep in. Post-grad life is here. 
• Just when your mood is quickly headed south, thinking life is rough going to work early on a rainy Sunday morning, God floods the halls (literally) with an abundance of water and then people...and makes you dance in the rain. 
• I still despise the grocery store...the only way you'll get me to go is by the offer of free samples and reminding me of how much eating out cost me last week. 
• Chai shakes and chocolate chai lattes might need to have their own category in my budget...yes, an addiction is forming. It's a great thing that the nearest Starbucks is more than 5 miles from my house.  
• So there's this little festival called Austin City Limits.......... it's an adventure to say the least.
• Paddleboarding is therapeutic. And a great business. If this whole ministry thing doesn't work out, you might just be visiting the newest paddleboard shack on Town Lake, owned by me.
• God keeps His craziest kids closest (explains a lot of why I'm working in a church). I can't take credit for this line, but it has quickly become my mantra during some of the most humbling moments. 
• I will always fight power, approval, control, and comfort idols. The days that I forget this are the days that I typically lose that fight. Thankful that His mercies are new every morning.
• The enemy always speaks in half-truths. Yes, we are messed up, flawed little people running around like we know what to do (what he loves to remind us of), BUT GOD has/does/and will always intervene with His gracious love displayed first in His gospel. Always remember the end to that story!
• We are His poem (Ephesians 2:10). Uniquely and perfectly designed for His plan for us. Motivational foundation. 
• Ministry will be the hardest, but one of the best things I will ever do. 
• Austin Stone worship conference. Awesome to witness and be a part of. 
• Support raising is an opportunity unlike any other. Game changer. My decisions and my finances will be forever impacted by this perspective shift. 
• I will put in similar inputs (of time, effort, planning) into this job, but I am not always promised the outputs...that's a difficult one for me.
• Each and every moment has the potential to be one of teaching and development. And it doesn't typically happen to be in the ways I would expect.
• I place my value in my work and what I produce...A LOT. In ways I didn't know until I was faced with a lack of output. Turns out, there's more to this life that we're meant to live.
• To be broken means an opportunity to see Him put me back together. 
• Overwhelmed with life (emotions, people, difficulties, happiness) = development. 
• Circumstantial events always reveal deeper sin in my heart. This is a good thing.  
• There is a direct correlation between my time in the Word and my temptation to sin. 
• Being able to accurately see and feel God's grace for us is going to be a lifelong prayer.

 Final truth (and I'll say it again and again)...

Jesus is better. 

And we will spend the rest of our lives being convinced of this.

 

 

Support update: 

91% raised ($130/month left) 

The 532

"The 532." Yes, that is our apartment number, social media hashtag, and official name for the location in which Holly Crabtree, Molly Brunson, and I live.

We love it.

And we've only lived here for a month.

Recently we celebrated our one month "friendiversary." I think they would agree, it's nearly impossible to believe we've only known each other for a month. One. Month.

 I love these two for our:

differences

similarities

accountability

laughter

car ride sing-a-longs

celebrations

prayers

honesty

...just to name a few.

As we sat in our living room, sharing our life stories with each other on the second night of living together, I knew we were setting the bar high.

I had no clue how high.

I think it might take years to comprehend it.

[Spoiler: this post is about more than these two incredible women I have the blessing of doing life with.] 

While Holly and Molly (yeah...try keeping that straight) provide me with endless joy and laughter, it's what they do not simply give me, but rather show me, that wakens my soul to things greater than human beings can ever give.

Put simply: I'm learning how God uses those around me to imitate the Gospel.

I've never been good at vulnerability. Let's really be honest here. I like to share what I think others should hear, only to the point that they still like and approve of me. There is an idol for this and thy name is APPROVAL (easily followed by Comfort, Control, and the list goes on...).

God is so big and doesn't need us, so He's pretty independent right?

Wrong.

In the first chapter of the first book of His Word, the persons of the Trinity are first mentioned (Genesis 1:26). Three in One. God, in Himself, represents perfect community. Completely equal and united, yet possessing great differences and fulfilling unique purposes.

Jesus went so far as to give up having a steady income, permanent home, a wife and family, and many other pleasures of life for the sake of His calling and to pour all that He had to give into the men He walked alongside of. Not to mention He put on flesh and chose to walk 33 years with those constrained by time and space, only to be nailed to a tree by the hands He had created. He loved his community with all that He had (literally). He gave His last breath for community, so that they may have life (Galatians 2:20).

This makes me think, how much do I value those around me? Based on the gospel's picture of love, how well can I say that I love the community around me?

Do I care for someone so deeply that I love them as my own soul (1 Samuel 18:1-3)?

Who would I be willing to lay my life down for (John 15:13)?

Needless to say, I'm not the biggest fan of my answers to these questions. But I can't stop there. Jesus makes it clear that we are to learn to love one another, in the same way He has loved us (John 13:34-35). He knows we can.

That's not to say that I will get it right immediately. I will never know that kind of love. But I accept the command and challenge; not out of obligation, but because of the love He's shown me and my growing love relationship with Him.

Now bring it back to my immediate community, Holly and Molly.

They have, and will see me on my good days, bad days, days of doing every dish and taking out the trash (with a smile), and those days when I throw a fit because the weather is 10 degrees too hot/cold for what I really want to wear and on top of that, people have the audacity to drive on the same street as me. Unfortunately those last days are all too common.

And they love me the same. They show me Jesus. 

Image bearers. We were created in God's image, but because of our imperfect nature, we will spend our lives learning how to mirror Him again. This community God provides each of us with is to be our greatest molding tool in this process.

No doubt we will have conflict, and it will hurt, but this can ultimately be used to grow us in ways we never have before (Proverbs 27:17). We see our ugliest tendencies come out like never before, but we also have an opportunity to face those, grow in humility, and pray for our hearts to be changed in ways they have never have before.

So that original list of what I love about these two will continue to grow. And hopefully our ability to love the Lord and others will as well.

Thank you, Jesus, for the 532.